Navigating the Holidays: A guide to Managing Expectations and Embracing Joyful Imperfections

Last week on the blog, I emphasized the importance of intentional scheduling during the hectic month of December. Now, as we move forward, it's crucial to delve into the art of managing expectations. An old adage claims that "expectations are premeditated resentments," and for sure, the holiday season can amplify this truth. Let’s explore some strategies to keep our expectations in check, to help foster a more enjoyable and stress-free holiday experience. We’ll do this in four steps– embracing imperfections, prioritizing connection, communicating openly, and being realistic with our timeframes.

Step one– Embrace Imperfections

I always seem to have in my mind that Christmas Day will be this glorious family day where we all wake up cheerful, open our stockings, and then head over to my in-laws for breakfast. As my kids entered the teenage years, waking up cheerful wasn’t part of the equation anymore. Oh well, still more wonderful activities to do and memories to make! But inevitably, something goes wrong and spoils my expectation of “perfect.” One year, my husband Tom was sick, and since he is the main chef, dinner was mediocre at best. Another time, one of our dogs got into the desserts before we did.Instead of letting such incidents ruin the day, embrace imperfections as part of the charm of the season. Sometimes those things that go wrong are the cherished memories that you will look back on and remember fondly.

Step two– Prioritize Connection Over Perfection

If you know me, I’m super competitive, and can turn just about anything into a competition. Cue gingerbread house making. In our house gingerbread house making is a competition to see who can make the best one. We have a time limit and when we are done, we all vote on the best one. Last year, we put them on social media and had our friends vote. But instead of making the time spent decorating focused solely on creating the best one, I should instead prioritize the joy of crafting together with loved ones. The experience becomes more valuable than the outcome.

Step three– Communicate Openly

If there are specific expectations others have of you or you of them during the holidays, openly communicate. Discuss what traditions are essential, what can be adjusted, and where flexibility is possible. This ensures that everyone is on the same page, minimizing the chances of unmet expectations. This includes discussions of family dynamics, including what comments, behaviors, etc. will trigger family members and how to avoid them. For kids, be very specific about what and why for behavior expectations you place on them.

Step four– Set Realistic Timeframes

This goes back to last week’s post, but it’s worth repeating. You might have an extensive list of holiday activities you'd like to partake in, but it's essential to be realistic about time constraints. Instead of cramming too much into a short period, prioritize a few meaningful activities that allow you to savor the season without feeling rushed. And, remember, you don’t have to do it all this year.

In conclusion, managing expectations during the holidays is about fostering a mindset of flexibility, understanding, and prioritizing what truly matters. By embracing imperfections, valuing connections over perfection, communicating openly, and setting realistic timeframes, you are setting the stage for a more joyful and less stressful holiday season. Remember, the joy of the holidays lies in the shared moments, not in the flawless execution of plans. I’m wishing you a season filled with warmth, connection, and the simple joys that make this time of year so special.